The “Don’t Do” List.

I’m a fan of my “To Do” lists.  I find for myself, and many of my clients, writing down what it is I’d like to accomplish can help me prioritize, set goals and quiet my mind.  The other day when writing my list, I thought, “what would a ‘Don’t Do’ list look like for me”?   Well…here it is:

1. Do not start the day looking at your phone/email/news/social media.

The way you start your morning sets you up for how you’ll live your day.  Waking up and jumping into the world of the internet is letting other people take your time and it’s inviting the opportunity for what I’ll call “dark energy” to be the start to your day.   Instead, prime the mind pump with gratitude, calm, health and invite the opportunity for “light energy” to be your guide for the day.

2.  Don’t blame others.

When we blame others we set ourselves up for conflict and to be victims.  It’s like being at the bottom of a well, where you’ll have a very narrow perspective and can see only a small part of the sky.  Instead, find a way to accept responsibility for you, look for ways to create a win win scenario and start climbing out of the well, look at the whole sky.  Then take action on what you will discover with the wider perspective.

3.  Stop overthinking everything.

Do you also suffer from “Analysis Paralysis”?  Inviting more “feeling” into your process can take you out of that mind loop and be the catalyst you may need to move forward. Practice changing “I think….” to “I feel…”  Also, adopting a growth mindset of “there are no mistakes, only experiences” can go a long way toward giving yourself permission to act. 

4.    Don’t let other people boss you around.

Create moments of inclusion.  Practice defining and enforcing what your personal boundaries are.  Boundaries are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behavior towards us.  Continually take time throughout the day and remind yourself of your own worth, and that no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or take your self-defined space away from you.  How you treat yourself is how others will treat you.

5.  Don’t compare yourself to others.

Like the saying goes.  “Compare and despair”.   We are all unique and one person’s journey is no more important than another.  They are on their path and you are on yours.  Trying to be better than others is an un-winnable game and instead learn how to play your own game.  When in despair, practice gratitude for even the smallest thing and work yourself back to a place where your self-worth can thrive.

6.  Don’t isolate yourself / Drop the “lone wolf” mentality.

Humans are social creatures.  We thrive when we are a part of a community.  Let go of the idea that you have to do it all by yourself.  We all need a little help from time to time.

That’s it.  What would be on your “don’t do” list?  Connect and let me know.  



Andy Bates